[no. 5] Take Your Son to Work Day
I’m getting more and more used to this whole “Father” role and hope that Caleb is doing the same as “Son”. It has been somewhat of a rough ride this week as somehow Caleb has been getting pretty nasty bouts of gas, but primarily only late at night. Monday night (well, Tuesday morning), found me still up at 3am, and up for good at 5am. Two hours of sleep is better than none, I suppose…
I’ve started to wonder what 6 or 7 hours of solid sleep really feels like. I should have been less cavalier when all of those veteran parents said to get as much sleep as possible. Harumph! Always in hindsight.
I guess the above doesn’t have much to do with, “Take Your Son to Work Day.” Well, oddly, it does. I’m actually being quite productive, despite the fact that the clock is indicating it’s almost a quarter past one in the morning. And yes, Caleb is sleeping right here with me. In fact, we’ve been doing this almost every night. It seems to be a critical part of our relationship building (I hope he enjoys it as much as I do), as well as one of the periods of the evening that my wife actually sleeps soundly.
Every night, sometimes around 10pm, other nights as late as 1am, I pull my keyboard forward make a comfy bed for Caleb between my tapping fingers and the computer. He sleeps, wakes, cries, toots, looks around, sucks on his pacifier, toots some more, and sleeps. But most importantly, we’re together.
I suppose it sounds silly that spending this kind of time with my son is so important to me, but it is. I love the fact that I am able to be productive and get work done, yet also have him by my side all the while. What I neglect to realize sometimes is just how lucky I am to be able to have this time with him. Who cares if it’s 2:30am and I haven’t had more than a few restless winks. If the little man’s eyes are open and he wants to hang out then I say there is no better time to hang out. So when I have the opportunity to spend some time with him, listen to classical music (Yo-Yo Ma on iTunes is his favorite) and make entries on my blog at the same time, I certainly don’t pass it up!
At this point, I should let everyone know that I work from a home office and have quite a bit of time to socialize with Caleb during the day. However, the point is that I grab every opportunity, including those late-night sessions when I’m trying to work. If I wasn’t blessed to be able to work from home, I’d make every effort I could to squeeze more minutes out of every day, just to spend with Caleb. And when I’d eventually find that there were no more minutes left to squeeze, I’d see about telecommuting. Or taking a sabbatical. Or retiring. Or quitting. Or becoming a stay at home dad.
But now I’m just being silly. Or am I?
Why is it that it isn’t as common to have your 1-year old son at your office every day as it is to bring your dog? Of course, they take more management, are potentially more disruptive, come rife with liability issues, etc., etc., etc. But seriously folks, we can do better. There’s something a little off with how prominently our culture (read: American culture—sorry to any international readers, though here my American-centric view may actually be a compliment to others!) values status, wealth, material possessions and real estate gains. What about family? If faced with choosing between extremely close familial ties and relationships or making a great living as a Special Office Guy Extraordinaire, how many of us would choose the family? And what does that say about what we value? Is one way right or wrong?
I think I know the answer, but I also think that I may have a slightly skewed sense of reality. But I’ve never had a paycheck bring tears of joy to my eyes. Yet something as simple as Caleb’s smile or a yawn can empty my tear ducts in a flash…
TAGS: Father | Dad | Son | Work At Home |
This entry was posted on Thursday, August 25th, 2005 at 1:46 am and is filed under On Being A Father.... You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
August 25th, 2005 at 10:13 pm
The gas thing comes from his dad. One day he’ll be a champ, and probably at a lot more than farting. Let’s hope he grows up to resemble his mother.
Pete, go order a book called “One Wheel, Many Spokes.” I think you’ll like it.
August 26th, 2005 at 12:03 am
Hey Robinson!
His gas most certainly comes from me, though I have to admit, his expulsions put me to shame. There is so much about him that gives the appearance of being a, “Little man,” and the toots more than contribute to that illusion. I think he’ll grow up with a good mix of our traits, though I’m hoping that he gets Megan’s kindness, sensibleness, mellow nature, and good looks of course! He definitely has my feistiness (is that a word?), digestive tendencies (noted) and determined stubbornness.
I’ll check out that book—great to hear from you! How goes it in WA?
August 26th, 2005 at 9:22 pm
Things are well in the northlands. Football started this week. If I ever decide to move on in my profesional life (which I’m thinking of doing), leaving the coaching behind is going to be tough. It gets more enjoyable every year. I’m liking your sites, what’s with the brainphood deal? It’s purpose and direction is less clear. You guys are in San Luis Obispo right now aren’t you? SLOb for short. I’ve spent 30 minutes in that town, but I loved it. How is the MBA program going?
Your kid is pretty amazing. I think you were born for the job, so good luck. If it’s in the cards for Becky and I, it’ll be quite a while yet. Last thing, have you ever heard of the “Car Garden” and if so, did you go there when you were at Brooks? We could probably discuss this in emails, but postings will give me an excuse to check your sites now and then.
August 27th, 2005 at 9:03 am
Moving on, eh? How’s the school search going? I think the last time we talked there was a chance you’d be 500 miles away potentially. Is the teaching still fun? I remember you talking as highly about it as the coaching.
Your guess is as good as mine in regards to the scope and purpose of brainphood.com—it’s more experimental than anything right now. I wanted to put together a few writers and put some good content out, but baby+school-sleep+stress really put a halt to those plans. So for now, it’s simply a place for me to put cool things I find that other people might benefit from. But not much more yet…
Thanks for the comments about Caleb. Currently he is upstairs with Megan and has been grunting all morning. We’re still trying to figure out her diet as it seems anything she puts in her body eventually gives him gas. Yes, even water.
I haven’t heard of the “Car Garden”—is it a Brooks thing?
…and here is just as good as email, my friend, though we are due for a face-to-face visit sometime in the next decade. Seems to me that I’ve been trying to make a trip to the Pacific Northwest for many years…
August 27th, 2005 at 9:23 am
This guy from Santa Barbara amassed a collection of junk cars that he stashed around town on streets and in alleys through the 70’s and 80’s. Most of them ran, some of them didn’t. He called himself an artist an collector. Eventually he moved them all to the side of a hill somewhere near Santa Barbara but not in SB county. He went through all the government hoops to have it declared an art installation. The only thing is, the only people he will let come see it are art students from UCSB, photography students from Brooks, and an occasional journalist. I read about it in a magazine and it mentioned the Brooks thing, so I thought I’d ask.
Last school year was kind of rough in a lot of ways, but teaching is still good. The problems in public schools very rarely come from the kids, and if you can believe it, they very rarely come from the parents either. They come from the idiots who work in public education, mostly administrators and sometimes fellow teachers. So I’m going to see if I can hack it at the next level.
Davis is still on the top of my list. I’ll be applying there shortly. It’ll be a stretch to afford living in that town, but craigslist is a wonderful thing. Montana, Washington and New Mexico are all back up choices, with Montana sort of rising to the top, though I haven’t done much research into UNM yet.
We’ve got room. All three of you are welcome any time you want. We’ll figure something out.
August 28th, 2005 at 1:47 pm
That’s pretty interesting about the guy with the cars. I definitely have not heard of it before now. Any chance you can point me to the article you mentioned?
I’m with you on the frustrating nature of the public school system. I haven’t cared much until now, as we’ll need to figure out what kind of education we hope to give Caleb. Honestly, I’ve considered home schooling, and think it may prove to be the best choice for him. We’ll see.
Good luck with Davis as well as all of the other schools. My mom is a UNM grad school alum (Accounting/Business), though I have no idea what her opinion of the school is.
I really hope to take you up on the offer to stay with you—hopefully before Caleb has a beard and is bench pressing more than me…
August 28th, 2005 at 3:58 pm
If you want to do it before Caleb is bench pressing more than you, I guess that means I’ll put the guest room in order for Labor Day weekend then.
The article about the car garden was in the most recent issue of Car and Driver, I believe. I think it’s the September issue and it should still be on the stands for a little while anyway.
August 28th, 2005 at 5:25 pm
August 28th, 2005 at 8:23 pm
It’s pouring down rain here for the first time in a long while. It’s welcome really.
As far as homeschooling Caleb, you sure as hell have done a lot of thinking in the last 3 weeks. Things will go the way they’re supposed to go. By the time he’s about 7, you’ll want to pass him off to someone else for a few hours a day.
I’m way interested in your kid, but I’ve also been poking around this credo site. How’s things going with it? Are you making a run at some good business?
With no intention of falling into sentiment or sap, you’ve always been a risk taker (mostly in a positive way), and I wish I had the energy or the balls to try to go my own way sometimes.
At any rate, you’re going to be super busy with the MBA program soon, but we should really make a concerted effort for you guys to visit as soon as you can. Things are very well between Becky and I lately (mostly), and we have a pretty nice place. Not like things are going to go to hell soon or anything, but if I make it into grad school, we might not keep the house. We’ll see what comes. I’ve always been the traveller and it seems like it’s almost always easier for me to come see people rather than vice versa. My schedule and family commitments seem the easiest to accomadate such things.
As far as that book I recommended, the guys got a website as well, it’s http://www.onewheel.org. He’s an interesting dude and some of his philosophy seems to mesh with what you’re trying to do here.
August 28th, 2005 at 11:40 pm
Ha! I’ve been considering homeschooling Caleb since before he was a whisper of a thought. I think we’ll still send him to school (hopefully public) but I don’t think I can handle NOT supplementing his education in some manner. I don’t know why, but I really look forward to teaching him various subjects. (I can’t wait until he is old enough to talk business with me—only if he’s interested, of course) I agree with wanting someone else to take over for a few hours and wonder if that is really what the public school system has become—a glorified day care.
Credo Advisors, as a business, is kind of in a hibernation stage. I’m not actively pursuing business, nor am I taking any (but oddly enough, in not promoting the business, I’m not having to turn down much…fancy that). I figured that I would be busy enough with school and raising Caleb for the next year, that I would simply try and find my voice, so to speak, in the meantime. So I’m exploring issues on the blog, staying on top of what’s happening in society that gets me excited, and what gets me down. And all the while, I’m trying to use all of that to learn how to run businesses better. Both in a literal sense and in terms of ethics, motives and societal commitments. It’s going well so far, and I hope it has some impact on others as well.
I guess I am a risk taker. It’s kind of funny to hear someone describe me as such, though, as I would never call myself anything remotely close to “risk taker”. I feel as if I am very cautious, methodical and calculating in almost everything that I do…but maybe that perception (which I do think is correct) overshadows the fact that I do stick my neck out there quite a bit. …I’ll have to think more about that.
It’s good to hear that things are well with you and Becky. I can’t believe it’s been two and a half years since I last saw you both. Time is moving so incredibly fast these days. It’s almost depressing. I’d like to plan a visit, though it sounds lame, cold and far too adult of me to say that I’m booked until next July. And, quite frankly, it’s simply not the case. I’d gladly ditch a few days of classes to catch up with old friends. I’ll figure something out…
I checked out that website and love the following sentence about Clausen: